Time bomb

Here's what's supposed to happen: when a homeowner files the paperwork for a loan modification, everything is supposed to freeze in place. The mortgage holder is not supposed to do anything but consider the loan modification.

But our lender, First Horizon Home Loans, found a loophole. As long as our paperwork was sitting in a pile somewhere waiting to be processed, they could keep the clock ticking. And every time it reached the top of the pile, it was "too old."

Now, three months behind, we sent off two months' payment, just as the gum-cracking, nail-filing, neighbor-cackling, loose-shoulder-muscled, hair-styled woman had said we could.

But, as the TV program says, nothing could have prepared us for what happened next.

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

We checked our bank account obsessively, but the check hadn't cleared. We called the mortgage company after a week.

"Yes, I can see that the payment is in process," we were assured. We had less than a week to go before we would be four months behind.

We called again on the 17th, the day after the fourth month had passed.

"Oh," said the woman, popping a bon bon into her mouth, "you're in foreclosure."

"But we sent payment, like you said we could!" I moaned.

"Oh, that was returned to you," she said, smacking her lips.

And indeed it was, a week later. We sent the check via overnight mail on the 28th of August. They returned it a month later. It was stamped as having been received on Sept. 15. But it was attached to a slip of paper that clearly indicated it had been received on Aug. 31, and marked for return then.

They had received our check in plenty of time, the check they said they would accept, and then they held it until they could bring foreclosure proceedings to a full boil.

"But we have filed for a loan modification," I whispered.

"I'm sorry, I can't talk to you about this any further," she said, a chocolate truffle into her mouth. "You have to talk to the foreclosure company."

I hung up the phone and looked out my office window. There, circling the little lake, was the osprey, the one who visited every day, looking for a tasty morsel to fish from the water.

For the first time, it looked dangerous to me.